When you have a baby, you’re forced to get to know not one, but three new people - your baby, yourself and your vagina. You’re holding a new stranger, your inner labia has fallen apart, and you feel like your old self died. Well, at least that’s how those of us with Postpartum Depression feel.
Comedian Angelina Spicer on Motherhood & Postpartum Depression
It’s lonely. It’s confusing. And for most of us - it’s shameful.
One of the reasons that I felt like I was going crazy was because of the issues I had with breastfeeding. Most women complain about having low supply, I had the opposite problem, I had the highest functioning boobies in Hollywood (which is saying a lot these days). The milk was plentiful and came down HARD. Day or night, no matter what I was doing, I had to pump before my baby latched. Whether I was at home, in the car, or peeing in Whole Foods, I had to pump first! It drove me crazy, but I kept hearing about all of the moms who had low supply so I felt guilty about complaining.
The other issue I later found out was that what I was eating was causing my little love bug colic! The howling unrelenting screams every time I ate onions, broccoli, tomatoes, Brussel sprouts, or garlic was enough for me to just give up food altogether - especially cuz I had been vegetarian for 15 years so each of those things were staples in my diet!!
Anxious, Stressed and Sleep deprived were an understatement! That’s why when my therapist suggested a “getaway” to a psychiatric hospital, I was all IN! The psych unit was amazing - I was alone, I didn’t have to do anything, and I didn’t have to listen to a baby crying. I felt like I was on a game show and had won a 7 day 6 night day all inclusive trip to the Bahamas! It was the best vacation that health insurance could buy. In the mental hospital I learned how to imagine life with my daughter beyond the sleep deprived moments and envision her taking her first steps, how to cope when I’d hear the cries, and most importantly how to ask for help!
Before I checked into the “resort”, I was so hung up on doing everything “the right way” no screen time, homemade pureed veggies, very strict routines. But when I got home, I realized that my sanity was the “right” thing to give my daughter and the other things meant nothing if I wasn’t my best self - even if that meant a new and improved redefined self! I speak out to encourage moms who are where I was - fighting for their sanity. It *does* get better, you are a great mom, YOU GOT THIS! #StopTheShame #PostpartumDepressionSurvivor #AngelinaSpicer
Angelina Spicer is a comedian, actress, social media influencer, wife and mother. She's built an impressive online presence with her viral comedy sketches, garnering more than 150 million views. It began as she portrayed Tyra Banks, Beyonce and Nicki Minaj on the hit Disney webseries Electric Spoofaloo. Her viral success catapulted her career from phone screens to the silver screen, when she's appeared several episodes of hit talk show THE REAL as the "Deal Diva", in sketches on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Tosh.0 and on Conan. Many of her sidesplitting skits have featured on Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, WorldStar Hip Hop, and been tweeted by countless celebrities including Shonda Rhimes, Taraji P. Henson and Taylor Swift. A cum laude graduate of Howard University, Spicer has smartly delved deep for comedy that’s authentic, transparent, and relatable. By using her social media platform, she became an outspoken advocate for maternal mental health after she was admitted into a psychiatric facility for treatment of postpartum depression (PPD). It was then that her journey to remove the stigma from the shame and guilt associated with PPD began. She became the 2018 Spokeswoman for The Blue Dot Project, has lobbied on Capitol Hill, helped pass three new pieces of legislation for new moms in California and been featured on NPR, in USA Today & Essence magazine.
Sarah Moshman is raising money for a film to help tell Angelina's story through comedy here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/spicerspostpartumdoc/angelina-motherhood-and-postpartum-depression-doc